 |
|
FanFare 
Home
About
Bios
Episodes
Photos
News
Features
|
|
In November 2001, Kim Johnston Ulrich, her husband Robert, and their son, Cooper, welcomed a new addition to the family. After a long intricate process, the Ulrich family adopted one-year old Tierney Joy from an orphanage in China, a country where many children desperately need homes. Kim's story is an amazing one-and her face absolutely lights up when she talks about her beloved new daughter! Read on to discover how Tierney Joy came into their lives, and how their lives have changed since she's come along.
How did you make the decision to adopt a baby?
I think that adoption was an option for me my whole life. I don't know why, but it always appealed to me. As a young child, I was very aware that there were too many people in the world and none of us needed to procreate a lot. So, it was something I was always very open to. And then the years go on and you live your life. We had our son, and I was not young when I had my son. I woke up one day and said-oh my God, we need to have a baby! And we did. And the second one just didn't come along. So, adoption was always something I was interested in. When I got the show, I told my husband that we should start the paperwork. I figured I had at least a couple of years of work ahead of me, which meant extra money, so we should start the process. We started the paperwork fully aware that at any point we could stop it. It's a long process to adopt internationally. It took us a year just to complete all the paperwork. At that point, we said--okay, we'll go for it. But then after you do the paperwork and you're ready for a baby, you wait and wait.
Can you take us through the process?
This is for China-I don't know about other countries or domestic adoptions. You have to do fingerprints, and financial statements, and FBI checks. We worked with a social worker who checked our house and met Cooper. I think that's probably the same for domestic adoptions. There's certain paperwork that you have to fill out and it's a lot. It's not that it's hard, it's just time-consuming. It's just this infinite amount of stuff. You have to send it all off to China. And then they have to document it all and send it back. Thankfully, the agency we went through was very efficient. And then you wait and wait and wait. And then you get a picture. I called Robert one Friday late in the day and he told me to come by the office because he'd gotten a picture. He had spoken to the people at US-Asian affairs and they said they had the picture. He asked if he could come and get it, but they said no--it was 5pm on Friday and they were leaving! So they faxed it. We wound up with this really bad black and white fax. There we were staring at it, trying to make it out! On Monday, he went there and got the actual pictures, but they were still just passport-sized photos. She was very cute. It was a very strange thing to be looking at this photo and thinking--oh my God. This is my daughter.
What happens next?
We waited to get our call to find out when we would be travelling. They tell you about 3-4 weeks before you travel. Our call came the Monday after September 11th. I checked my cell phone and there was a message from the woman at US-Asian affairs. I remember walking in the door and Robert asked if I was all right. I said no and burst into tears. I told him I didn't know if it would be worse if they tell us we can go or we can't go. We had planned to go as a family, all three of us. And after that I felt I couldn't, in good conscience, take my son on a plane at that point. We were both in tears and didn't know what to do. We talked and talked, and Robert said he couldn't put me on an airplane, for the same reason we couldn't put Cooper on the plane. So, Robert went and his cousin, Barbie Harmony, went with him. We thought about all the people in our lives and whom we could turn to in this kind of situation. When we asked if she would go, she said of course.
How do they go about matching you with a child?
To be honest, I have no idea. You send photos of yourself and your family. We sent several pictures of Robert, Cooper, and I...and then, I don't know! It's just luck and fate, I guess.
What happened when Robert first saw Tierney?
We have it all on video. It was wonderful to see. We have a version that we edited down, and there's a point that whenever we've shown it, every woman in the place bursts into tears. It's a great shot of her orphanage, which was a nice facility. Some of them are much poorer than others are. I think all things work out the way they're supposed to. In some ways, it was better that I didn't go because Robert was forced to do it all on his own. He had Barbie to help, but he was bound and determined to do it himself. He had to learn how to do her formula, how to feed her, and when to feed her. Had I been there, he would have deferred to me. He had a really nice bonding time with her, which made them very close. It was a very intense time. And it also gave me a nice space of time to be with Cooper alone.
What happened when you first saw her?
Cooper and I went to the airport, which had thankfully just opened up again. A big portion of the group flies over together, and flies back to Los Angeles together. Some of them then fly to other destinations, but they all disembark in LA. I remember waiting and waiting for him to come off the plane. I kept thinking they'd be the first off because Robert flew first class. But not Robert-he had to talk to everybody on the plane! So, I see the first babies come off and they were beautiful little girls. Cooper had my camera and he was photographing every child. And I had promised him he could hold her first. Everyone getting off the plane was coming up to me and asking if I was Kim. They told me how impressed they were with Robert. And they said how amazing Tierney was-from the get-go, she was the easiest child in the group. From the moment Robert got her, she was happy and easy. So, finally they came off the plane. And there was this wide-eyed little girl checking everything out. She went right to Cooper and he held her. And then she went right to me. She was amazing. The emotions are just all over the place. I can't even put into words what I was feeling, because I don't know. It was such a mixed bag.
There's a great need for homes for Chinese babies-especially girls. How did you decide that is what you wanted to do?
I can come up with all the reasons in the world why I think I did it, but ultimately I have to say that it's because my daughter was in China. The girl I was supposed to have was there. When she came home and became part of our family, I thought-how did they find the only kid in China who's exactly like Cooper? How did they find the only kid in China who fits so perfectly? Ultimately, that's where I was supposed to go.
What is it like for you now-balancing a new baby with a demanding job?
It's been hard. And to be honest, the hardest thing for me since I've been working so much has been splitting the focus-especially in the beginning. I felt very schizophrenic because I had to focus at work, and then I'd come home and have the baby and Cooper. I'm sure it's what every mother goes through when you bring another child into the mix. I don't think it's anything unusual. Thankfully, I have wonderful help-I do have a nanny. The good news is that when you're older, you realize you cannot do this alone. And having gone through this with Cooper, you realize nothing is a permanent situation. It all evolves. It gets easier. That keeps you going, too.
Do you think people in this country need more knowledge about adopting--both domestically and internationally? What can be done to help?
Yes, I do. I don't think people really understand the need for domestic and international adoptions. I think talking about it is a huge help. For years adoption was something no one talked about-you got your baby and then no one mentioned it. I think people are more open about it now. And not to give celebrities more due than they are worth, but if people in the spotlight talk about their experiences then it opens it up for other people too.
Is this a cause you want to become more involved in because of your own experience?
Very much so. There's a fund called Half the Sky foundation, which is a group of Americans who go over and work with the orphanages in China. They teach early child developmental skills to the caregivers there. They check out the orphanages. They went into Tierney's, which was a lovely orphanage with a nice play facility that they'd put in. I doubt I'll be able to travel to China, but I would certainly like to help raise money for them. And also, I can speak out about it. It's something I'm so pleased and excited about-I don't want to be quiet about it! It's such a joy that I would like to share it.
It's amazing to hear about what you've done.
It's interesting. A friend of my in-laws adopted her daughter thirty years ago, in a time when people didn't talk about it as much. And we're so open about it. That's the way she's going to be raised-knowing she's loved and chosen. She chose us. And this friend said that everyone would come up to her and say how wonderful she was for doing this. And unless you've adopted, you don't realize how wonderful it is for you. And everyone has said to me how nice it is for me to do this and how lucky she is. And they don't understand that I'm the lucky one here.
|
|
|
|
|
