"Settling the Score"

I'm going over to the Crane Mansion right now to give Ivy and Rebecca a piece of my mind. After I spoke to Gwen, I felt like I was at fault for everything that's happened to Ethan. But you know what? I'm not. Yes, I may have lied and kept secrets from him that I shouldn't have...but I probably wouldn't have had to if Ivy and Rebecca weren't always pushing to bring me down and break us up. If I had been dealing with a fair playing field, I probably would never have taken the actions I was forced to take. I guess I'll never know now, but there's one thing I do know. I'm not going to let Ivy and Rebecca get away with what they've done.

Thursday, January 24, 2002

"Unanswered Questions"

I hate to say this (or even think it), but is Gwen right? Would Ethan have been better off if he never met me? I mean, the things she said made sense. He would still be living as a Crane if I hadn't scanned Ivy's papers into my computer. And that means, he would have a real law career right now...as a Crane he could have gotten any job he wanted. He'd be married to Gwen-and whether or not he was happy, he would at least be settled in a stable relationship. Could I really have caused this much pain for the man I love more than life itself? And does that mean I should stay away from him forever?

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

"Learning from My Mistakes"

If there's one thing I've learned from this whole mess, it's that you can't take love for granted. And you have to do anything and everything in your power to hold onto the love in your life-because you never know what the future will hold. That's why I have to help Whitney find Chad right now! If I can't be with Ethan, I have to make sure that at least my very best friend is with the man she loves. Maybe Whitney can benefit from the mistakes I've made. And who knows? If they can work things out, than maybe that will be some kind of sign...a sign that Ethan and I can work things out.

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

"You Gotta Have Faith"

I can't believe I ever thought Ethan came here to work things out-to move forward in our relationship. How could I have been so stupid to think he wanted to work things out after everything that's happened? Well, now I know the truth. The hurt in his eyes and the pain in his voice were so intense. And the things he said to me-he's never spoken to me that way before-he was so incredibly disappointed in me. I think that's what broke my heart the most-Ethan has never, ever been disappointed in me before. He's always had so much faith in me. Can he ever get that faith back? Can something like that be destroyed forever? Maybe it's not too late to get him to see everything we have together...maybe I just need to go and find him.

Monday, January 21, 2002

"Last Chance"

I was so hopeful when Ethan showed up here. After everything that happened last night, I'd been convinced that it was over between us-that he'd never want to see me again-but when I saw him, all that went out the window. All of a sudden, there was a glimmer of hope once again. But now that glimmer is gone. Ethan only came here to end our relationship forever. I'll never, ever forget every word he just said to me. They will be burned in my heart forever.