"The Moment of Truth"

Today is the day. I've made the hardest decision of my life and there's no going back now. I'm going to go to the clinic and do what I have to do. May God, my family, and Ethan forgive me. May I someday be able to forgive myself...

Thursday, January 3, 2002

"Homecoming?"

What a strange night! An intruder in the house? How scary is that? But then the strangest part of all-Mama doesn't think it was an intruder. She thinks it was Antonio! I wonder if she's right. It would be amazing to see Antonio again-now more than ever. It would almost be like fate sending something good our way, when so much bad stuff has been happening. Tonight, when I lie down in bed, I'm going to try to forget about what's going on with me and just pray that Antonio comes back to us for real. What an amazing Christmas miracle that would be...

Wednesday, January 2, 2002

"Quality Time"

It was nice spending time at the Bennett's before. While we were there, I actually forgot about all the drama going on in my own life. It's funny. Who would have thought a year ago that Ethan would be hanging out and spending time with his half-sisters? When he first found out he was a Bennett, not a Crane, he was so devastated. But now he couldn't be happier to be a part of such a warm, loving family. I'm so glad something so good happened to him this year. He deserves all the good things in the world. That's why he can never find out I'm pregnant with Julian's baby. He doesn't deserve that. He just doesn't.