"Heading for a Breakdown"

I'm scared...I'm not sure how much more Mama can take. She's usually like a rock-so calm and together. But now, it's like she could crack at any minute. Like tonight...first she dropped the pot she was cooking with, then she burned dinner, and then...my god, she poured a bottle of red ink on my wedding dress! I don't even want to say this, but it's almost as if she's having a nervous breakdown or something. I can't bear the thought that I've hurt my mother this way. I wish I could do something to help her, but how can I when I'm the one who's caused her so much pain? What can I possibly do?

Thursday, October 11, 2001

"Dream on, Dream Away"

What a horrible, horrible night...and it's not even over yet. I swear, I wish I could get into bed and just sleep for hours and hours. And most of all, I wish that when I woke up none of this would ever have happened. It would all just have been a terrible nightmare. Wouldn't it be great if you could like erase a whole day out of your life? That you could go to sleep and wipe out what you wish never happened? Guess what? This one would be one of those days!

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

"To Tell the Truth"

Thank God Dr. Russell saved the day. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if Mama (or Dr. Russell) told Ethan and Luis the truth. They would have killed Julian for sure! They even went after him without knowing the full story! And now Ethan seems ready to kill Julian because of what he did to Ivy (what a monster-tampering with her IV)! Will any of this ever end? Right now, it sure doesn't seem like it.

Tuesday, October 9, 2001

"Spilling Her Guts?"

This is getting way too close for comfort. If I didn't tear Mama away from Luis and Ethan when I did, she would have told them the truth. I could tell...she was just about to spill everything about Julian and me. In fact, I'm not sure how much longer she can hold this in. If Luis keeps questioning her, I think she might explode! And then, God only knows what will happen...

Monday, October 8, 2001

"Mama Mia!"

Oh God, what have I done? If this whole situation with Julian wasn't bad enough, I have absolutely crushed Mama. I've never seen her like this. The way she went after Julian...that wasn't the Mama I know! She had such anger and hatred in her eyes-I practically believed her when she said she could kill Julian. She was like a different person...and it's all my fault! My head is spinning...have I ruined my Mama's spirit and faith forever? Have I killed the person she used to be? Dear Lord, what have I started? What have I done to my dear Mama?