"Back to the Future"

I wish I had a time machine. I would go back in time to the minute I found Ethan's paternity papers and tell him the truth right away. If I had only done that, none of this would be happening. Ethan and I would have said our vows by now, and we'd be husband and wife. Instead, I've ruined my life and Ethan's life…not to mention the pain I've caused Mrs. Crane and Grace and Sam Bennett. How can I ever show my face again to the people I love? Most of all, how can I ever face Ethan again?

Thursday, July 26, 2001

"Runaway Bride"

I have to get out of here. I have to get away…far away from this horrible pain. But somehow I have a feeling, no matter how far I run, no matter where I go-this hurt will never go away.

Wednesday, July 25, 2001

"Shattered Dreams"

Did I really just hear those words out of Ethan's mouth? Did he really just say he can't marry me? Oh God…it's like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces! What do you do when everything you've ever dreamed of is ripped away from you? How do you go on? I'm not so sure I can…I honestly don't know how I'm going to live without Ethan.

Tuesday, July 24, 2001

"A Simple Prayer"

Please Lord; give me the strength to get through this. I need Your help, now more than ever. Let it be Your way to give me guidance to face my darkest hour. Help me show Ethan he can love me and believe in me again. Please God, hear my prayer.

Monday, July 23, 2001

"Fairy Tales Don't Come True"

This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. How could the most wonderful day of my life turn into the most horrible day imaginable? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest…I can't even breathe. I know everyone must be thinking terrible things about me since I ran out of the church, but I just couldn't take it. Knowing how Ethan would feel if I told him I knew he wasn't a Crane…I couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes. I had to get out of there. I know I should have told Ethan the truth right away, but I swear on all that is sacred that I only wanted to protect him. I knew how much it would hurt him to lose the Crane name. And now my secret is about to cost me everything-my love, my happiness, Ethan. I thought today would end with my having everything I've ever wanted in the world. But now, I'm going to be left with nothing. Dear God…how will I live without Ethan?